


Looney Tunes: Rabbit Seasoning

by Ashton210



Series: RWBY STYLE [5]
Category: Looney Tunes, RWBY
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:48:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24265369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashton210/pseuds/Ashton210
Summary: Looney Tunes: Rabbit Seasoning but with rwby characters
Series: RWBY STYLE [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1751530





	Looney Tunes: Rabbit Seasoning

JAUNE ARC  
IN Rabbit Seasoning

The screen opens up to a bright green forest, birds chirping and hunters go and find their prey. In the middle of these woods was a white sign that read "If you're looking for fun -"

The screen then pans to more signs in the woods that each have a different message. "You don't need a reason-"

The screen continues to pan over to a bunch of more signs, showing off each different message. "All you need is fun"

"It's rabbit season!"

Then the screen pans up to a massive collection of signs planted on the trees and all of them had the same word "Rabbit Season"

The screen then turns to black and come back again, this time a sign that read "Rabbit 150ft that way" was shown. And then another sign that showed "Rabbit 75 ft ahead" was shown and another sign that read "Rabbit 25 ft ahead"

The sound of a loud banging was heard as the camera panned to a duck faunus using a hammer on a sign. The duck faunus had a large orange beak and blue hair, this was, of course, Neptune.

He then walked away from the sign and grabbed a toolbox from the ground. Neptune picked up a tool and planted it on the ground, making false footprints.

Neptune then came across a hole in the ground and a post box that read J. Arc. Neptune then placed the last print and started to sneak away from the hole.

As Neptune tiptoed away, he then turned to the camera. "Awfully unsporting of me I know but what they say I gotta have some fun!" Neptune said as he hid behind a rock. He popped his head over. "Besides, its really duck season!" Neptune said as he placed his head back down.

The screen then changed to a hunter sneaking through the woods as he held a rifle and a large hat. This was Cardin Fudd, and he was on the hunt.

He turned to the audience. "Its wabbit season! huhuhuh!" Cardin laughed as he suddenly found tracks on the ground. "Oh boy! Wabbits twacks hahaha!" Cardin chuckled as he started to follow the trail.

The screen then faded to Cardin looking over the hole as he had his rifle in hand. "All wight, Wabbit! I know you're there!" Cardin said as he pointed his gun at the hole. "If you're not out in ten seconds I'll bwast you out!" Cardin threatened.

The dimwitted hunter didn't even see that a few feet ahead of him was another hole and a boy with blonde hair and yellow rabbit ears were watching the poor fool in amusement.

Jaune then got out of the hole, chewing on a carrot as he walked over to Cardin. "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!" Cardin counted down as he began firing a storm of bullets down onto the hole as Jaune just watched.

Once the shooting had stopped, Cardin the dove halfway into the hole, trying to find the rabbit. "Okay, Wabbit! Now I got you!" Cardin said as Jaune went into the hole as well.

"Neyh...what's up doc?" Jaune greeted.

Both Jaune and Cardin got out of the hole at the same time. "I'm hunting wabbits" Cardin answered to the rabbit faunus in front of him. "It's wabbit season," Cardin said as he took another look in the hole.

"Oh, rabbit season, huh?" Jaune said with a mouth of food and as leaned on Cardin's hat, looking down at the hole. "Having any luck?"

Cardin then looked up from the hole and looked at Jaune. "Well no, as a matter of fact, I haven't even seen a wabbit yet" Cardin answered as Neptune watched from his spot with a dumbfounded expression on his face.

Neptune then stomped towards the two with an angry look on his face. "This is preposterous!"

He then walked over to the hunter, poking him in the chest as he backed away. "Say, what's the matter with you anyway!?" Neptune exclaimed. "Don't you even know a rabbit when you see one? Hmm!?" Neptune said as he narrowed his eyes at the hunter. He then pointed at the blonde rabbit and handed Cardin is gun and waited patiently.

"It's true doc, I'm a rabbit alright," Jaune confirmed. "Would you like to shoot me now or wait till you get home?" Jaune asked.

"SHOOT HIM NOW! SHOOT HIM NOW!" Neptune exclaimed as he jumped up in the air, pointing at the Rabbit Arc.

Jaune then walked towards the duck faunus. "You keep out of this!" Jaune said. "He doesn't have to shoot you now!"

Neptune then went up to Jaunes face. "He does so have to shoot me now!" Neptune exclaimed. He then sped towards to Cardin. "I demand that you shoot me now!" Neptune shouted at the hunter as he crossed his arms, waiting and narrowed his eyes towards Jaune.

Cardin was highly confused by this but obliged. He pointed his rifle at the duck faunus face. Neptune briefly glanced at this before turning his head away. "Ney!" Neptune stuck his tongue out, right before he was shot square in the face, creating a cloud of smoke around his head.

Once the smoke cleared, Neptune's beak was on the top side of his head with an amused look as Cardin was baffled.

Neptune poked his tongue back into his mouth and moved his beak into the proper place on his mouth. He then stomped towards Jaune with an angry expression and smoke coming out of his beak.

Neptune went straight up to the rabbit faunus, who had a straight face. "Let's run through that again..." Neptune said as he poked Jaune's chest.

"Okay!" Jaune said in a chipper tone as he and Neptune stood beside each other, facing forward. "Would you like to shoot me now or wait till you get home?" Jaune repeated.

"Shoot him now, shoot him now," Neptune said in a monotone voice.

"You keep out of this, he doesn't have to shoot you now," Jaune said.

Neptune then went up right up to Jaune's face. "Hah! That's it! Hold it right there!" Neptune yelled as Jaune kept a straight face.

Neptune then turned to the audience. "Pronoun trouble," Neptune confirmed before turning back to Jaune who just blinked. "It's not "He doesn't have to shoot you now" It's "He doesn't have to shoot me now"," Neptune repeated with a calm tone.

"WELL, I SAY HE DOES HAVE TO SHOOT ME NOW!" Neptune yelled at Jaune before running towards Cardin. "So shoot me now!" Neptune demanded as Cardin shot him again, creating a cloud of smoke.

Once the smoke cleared, Neptune's beak as reached over his head. He snapped his beak shut, returning it to its normal position as Neptune held a scornful look.

The duck faunus then speeded towards Jaune, angrily pointing a finger at him and was ready to yell his heart out.

"Yes?" Jaune said in a calm voice as he closed his eyes.

Neptune's eyes widened as he looked at the audience. He grabbed his arm and forcefully pulled it down the other way of Jaune and closed his beak shut. He then stood straight with his arms crossed behind his back, closed his eyes and shook his head back and forth.

"Oh no, you don't. Not again. Sorry." Neptune calmly said while still shaking his head.

"This time, we'll try it from the other end," Neptune said as he walks towards Cardin. "Look, your a hunter right?" Neptune asked causally.

"Wight," Cardin said.

"And this is rabbit season, right?"

"Wight!" Cardian said again.

Jaune then came in between the two. "And if he were a rabbit, what would you do?" Jaune asked before leaving the scene.

"Yeah! Your so so smart!" Neptune said in an agitated tone." If I was a rabbit, what would you do?" Neptune demanded.

"Well, I'd..." Cardin said before pointing his rifle at Neptune's face again.

"Not again..." Neptune whimpered as Cardin shot him again, Neptune's beak being shot in a wrong position again. Neptune took his beak off and placed it back on him.

The duck faunus walked back to Jaune again with an unamused expression. "Ha Ha! Very funny! hahaha!" Neptune sarcastically laughed before having a straight face.

"I'm sworry fwellas but I can't whait any lownger," Cardin said as he pointed the rifle at both of them and started firing off rounds as the two faunus started to run away.

The chase kept going throughout the woods as Jaune and Neptune continued to run. Eventfully, they found a hole in the ground and leapt into as Cardin just passed them.

Jaune and Neptune were listening up above and heard the sound of footprints going away from them. Jaune took a few breathes in and went to Neptune. "Take a peek out and see if he's still around," Jaune said to the duck faunus.

"Right-o!" Neptune nodded in response as he got on a ladder and poked his head out of the hole...only to be shot again as he fell back to the ground.

"Is he still there?" Jaune asked.

"Still lurking about!" Neptune said in a slurred voice as he beak was slightly twisted.

"I'll tell you what, you go up and act as a decoy and lure him away" Jaune suggested.

"No more for me thanks! I'm driving" Neptune dumbly said before falling to the ground.

Jaune briefly turned his view to the audience before giving a shrug. "Oh well, as they say, never send a duck to do a rabbits job," Jaune said as he grabbed a pink blouse and placed it over his head.

Cardin was up above, oping his rifle down at the hole. "Okay! Come on out! I got you covered" Cardin warned.

Suddenly Jaune popped out of the hole, wearing business lady disguise as Cardin was entranced. "Hi..." Cardin nervously greeted as Jaune sauntered away and Cardin followed.

Jaune was sat on a log, reading a book as the hunter sat far from him, completely falling for the trick that was being pulled.

Neptune in the meanwhile watched on with an unamused look on his face. He clicked his tongue in response and walked over to the pair. "Surely your not going to be taken old gag?" Neptune said.

"Isn't she wuvly?" Cardin asked in a daze as he turned back to the rabbit in disguise while Neptune scorned.

The duck faunus then stomped over to Jaune who was reading a book. "Out of sheer honesty! I demand that you tell him who you are!" Neptune ordered as he stood there waiting for a response. "Well? Haven't you have anything to say!?" Neptune shouted, jumping up and down. "Anything! Out of sheer honesty!? Huh!?"

"Yes," Jaune answered in a southern accent and turned to the hunter. "I would just love a duck dinner," Jaune said as he winked his eyes, making Cardin putty.

He then walked over towards Neptune, the same lovestruck look in his eyes...and causally fired in Neptune's face again.

Neptune held his own beak in his hand as he placed it back on his face again and thought of a new strategy. He walked over to Jaune, on his knees. "Oh I apologize, madam for suspecting your integrity" Neptune apologized...and quickly removing the wig from Jaune's head.

"Ah-ha!" Neptune yelled as he tore the wig and went back to Cardin. "Now's your chance, Hawkeye! Shoot him! SHOOT HIM!"

Jaune just wiped the last of his disguise off. "He's got me dead to rights, doc," Jaune said. "Would you like to shoot him here or wait till you get home?"

"Oh no you don't," Neptune said as he crossed his arms in response. "Not this time!"

The duck faunus then turned to Cardin. "Wait till you get home" Neptune said.

"Alwight" Cardin agreed.

Cardin and Neptune then started to walk home while Neptune stuck his tongue out at Jaune, thinking he's won. They soon came across a cabin and entered inside the house. Then after a few seconds inside the house...

BANG!

A gunshot was heard within the cabin. Neptune then exited the cabin and marched all the way back to his rabbit rival, with his beak on the other side of his head, he then met up with him and calmly snapped his beak and removed it from the back of his head and placed it back on his face.

"Your despicable..." Neptune muttered as Jaune just gave a shrug as an iris closes out the scene.


End file.
